There's a difference between a place you'd visit and a place you'd actually build your life.

I know because I've done it.

I moved to Puerto Vallarta in September 2024 not because it was the cheapest option or because some travel blog told me to. I moved because something about it felt like home before it actually was. The people. The culture. The energy. The way I could walk down the street and feel like I belonged there — not as a tourist, not as a curiosity, but as someone who lived there.

That feeling is rare. And it's what I want for you.

So, this isn't your standard "best places to visit" list. This is for the ones thinking bigger. The ones who've had that thought — what if I actually just… went? The ones who want to know where Black gay men don't just survive, but genuinely thrive as residents.

Here are 10 countries where that's possible.

1. Mexico — Puerto Vallarta (My Home Base)

I'll start here because I live it every day.

Puerto Vallarta is not just gay-friendly. It's gay-saturated in a way that stops feeling like a novelty and starts feeling like normal life. Zona Romántica is built for community — not just for tourists passing through, but for people who stay. The neighbors know you. The bartenders know your order. The guy at the fruit stand knows you like your mangos not too ripe.

I’m currently on a hiatus from the city, and I find myself comparing everything back to PV. My heart is there. But my body is currently away, and its honestly heartbreaking because I love that place so much, but I know that I will be back and I am building my brand!

What’s that saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever? Chilee…I’m ready to get back to PVR ASAP, though.

What makes PV work as a home specifically for Black gay men is the combination of things that's hard to find anywhere else: genuine warmth from the local Mexican community (they really do love us… trust me), a large and established international gay traveler scene, year-round sunshine, walkability, and a cost of living that lets you actually enjoy your life instead of just surviving it.

Is it perfect? No. The infrastructure has gaps. Some days the Wi-Fi/electricity is wonky, it may flood in raining season, and you are away “from home.” But the feeling of being wanted — not just tolerated, not just marketed to — that part is consistent.

What living here actually looks like: Newcomers rent beautiful apartments in Zona Romántica for $800–$1,500/month. The community is tight. There are gay-owned restaurants, bars, gyms, and salons. You will make friends faster here than almost anywhere else on this list.

Best for: First-time expats, digital nomads, anyone who wants to ease into expat life with a strong existing community around them.

If PV is on your radar, my 50-page Puerto Vallarta guide has everything you need to hit the ground running — get it here and also check out my favorite places to stay in PV here.

2. Portugal — Lisbon

Lisbon is having its moment and honestly, the moment has been going on long enough that it's just life now.

Portugal consistently ranks among the most LGBTQ-friendly countries in Europe, and Lisbon backs that up culturally — not just legally. The Príncipe Real neighborhood is the gay hub, but the acceptance isn't contained to one district. It bleeds into the whole city.

What makes Lisbon compelling for Black gay expats specifically is something you don't hear talked about enough: Portugal's relationship with African diaspora culture. The music — Afrobeats, kuduro, kizomba — is part of the city's DNA. There are Black communities here, African restaurants, cultural events that center Blackness in a way that most European capitals don't. You won't feel like the only one.

The practical case is strong, too. Portugal has a Digital Nomad Visa, a Non-Habitual Resident tax regime that can significantly reduce your tax burden for the first ten years, and a cost of living that — while rising — is still lower than most Western European cities.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in Príncipe Real runs €1,200–€1,800/month. The pace of life is slower than you'd expect from a capital city. People actually stop for lunch.

Best for: Remote workers, creatives, anyone who wants European quality of life without London or Paris prices.

3. Spain — Barcelona

Barcelona is for the ones who want it all and aren't apologizing for it.

The Gayxample district is one of the most established gay neighborhoods in Europe — not a party destination that empties out in October, but a real, living community with residents, businesses, and culture year-round. Spain has had marriage equality since 2005 and the social culture has fully caught up with the law.

For Black gay men, Barcelona works because of its size and diversity. This is a genuinely international city — you will not stand out as a foreigner, you will not be the only Black person in the room, and you will find community quickly if you look for it. The nightlife is legendary but the day-to-day life is just as good — markets, beaches, architecture, food that will ruin you for everywhere else.

Spain also has a Digital Nomad Visa now, which makes the legal pathway easier than it used to be.

What living here actually looks like: Rent in Gayxample runs €1,400–€2,200/month for a one-bedroom. The city is expensive by Spanish standards but still cheaper than London or Paris. Barcelona rewards people who commit to it.

Best for: Social butterflies, nightlife lovers, anyone who wants a big-city expat experience with genuine community.

4. France — Paris

Paris is *MY* love language.

And for Black gay men specifically, Paris has a history that matters. Black American artists, writers, and creatives have been coming here to breathe for over a century — because Paris offered something that wasn't always available at home. That legacy is still alive.

Le Marais is the gay neighborhood — beautiful, walkable, full of cafés and bars and bookshops that make you feel like you're living inside a film. But what makes Paris work as a home rather than just a visit is the French commitment to a certain quality of daily life. The food markets. The long lunches. The way the city is designed for people to actually be in it, not just pass through.

Real talk: France has a complicated relationship with race. There's racism here — it shows up differently than in the US or UK, but it shows up. Paris is more insulated from it than rural France, but go in with your eyes open. When I was there recently, I didn’t really experience any racism, but I did get a few stares and looks like ‘get out of my way’ but I brushed it off and kept it movin’. No one should steal your joy!

The practical path: France has a Talent Passport visa for remote workers and entrepreneurs, and the healthcare system is one of the best in the world.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in Le Marais runs €1,800–€2,800/month. Paris is not cheap. But the quality of life argument is real.

Best for: Creatives, people who value culture and food and beauty as part of daily life, anyone ready to actually learn French.

5. United Kingdom — London

London is the most Black gay city in Europe. Full stop.

The diversity here isn't a talking point — it's the actual texture of daily life. Soho is the classic gay neighborhood but the Black gay community in London has its own venues, its own events, its own energy that exists independently of the mainstream scene. You can build a life here where Blackness and queerness aren't in tension — where both are celebrated in the same rooms.

The UK has strong legal protections, excellent healthcare through the NHS, and a cultural infrastructure for Black gay men that's hard to match anywhere else on this list.

The honest downsides: London is expensive and the weather is what it is. The visa pathway for non-EU citizens takes planning — you'll need a job offer, a skilled worker visa, or to qualify under the Global Talent route. But for Black gay men specifically, nowhere in Europe offers the community that London does.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in a good London neighborhood runs £1,800–£2,800/month. Budget carefully. But the city pays you back in ways that are harder to put a number on.

Best for: Anyone who wants a major career hub with a strong, visible Black gay community already built in.

6. Costa Rica — San José and Manuel Antonio

Costa Rica is the one people sleep on.

It became the first Central American country to legalize gay marriage in 2020, and the energy on the ground is genuinely relaxed and welcoming. What makes it interesting as a place to live — not just visit — is the combination of natural beauty, affordability, and a Pura Vida culture that genuinely means something.

Manuel Antonio has become a real gay expat hub — a small beach town with a community of LGBTQ residents who've settled there specifically because the vibe is right. San José has a growing gay scene and is the practical base for anyone who needs city infrastructure.

For Black gay expats, Costa Rica offers something valuable: you are not navigating the same racial dynamics as in North America or Europe. The culture is different. It has its own complexities, but the baseline interaction on the street tends to be warm.

Costa Rica also has a Rentista and Pensionado visa that's relatively accessible, and the cost of living is genuinely affordable — especially outside of tourist areas.

I’ve also spent time in Tamarindo and while it was great, it was kind of expensive… but if you’re into surfing, jungle life, and the beach — that’s the move! It is GORGEOUS there. And, don’t get me started on the coffee… I could literally crryyyyy.

What living here actually looks like: A comfortable one-bedroom in Manuel Antonio runs $700–$1,200/month. You will wake up to jungle sounds and be at the beach in ten minutes.

Best for: Nature lovers, anyone wanting a slower pace, people who want affordability without sacrificing beauty.

7. South Africa — Cape Town

Cape Town is the only city in Africa where you can be fully, openly Black and gay — and find a community that reflects that back at you.

South Africa was the first country in Africa to legalize same-sex marriage, back in 2006, and Cape Town's De Waterkant neighborhood has been a gay hub for decades. But what makes it compelling for Black gay men specifically is the intersection of Black culture and queer culture that exists here in a way that's unique on the continent. You are not choosing between identities. Both are present, visible, and celebrated.

The practical case: South Africa is affordable in a way that surprises people. A beautiful apartment in Cape Town runs significantly less than comparable cities in Europe or North America. The food scene is incredible, the natural beauty is absurd — mountains, ocean, wine country, all within 30 minutes of each other.

Real talk: South Africa has real challenges — inequality, safety concerns in certain areas, and a complex racial history that is ongoing. Research neighborhoods carefully. Cape Town rewards people who do their homework.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in De Waterkant or Green Point runs R15,000–R25,000/month (roughly $800–$1,400 USD). Your dollar goes far here.

Best for: Anyone ready for a genuinely different experience, people drawn to African culture and community, adventure-oriented expats.

8. Brazil — São Paulo

São Paulo is not for the faint-hearted. It is for people who want to be fully alive.

Brazil has one of the largest Black populations outside of Africa, one of the most visible LGBTQ communities in the world, and a culture where Blackness and queerness have always been intertwined — in music, in art, in nightlife, in daily life. For Black gay men, this combination is intoxicating.

São Paulo's gay neighborhood, Jardins/Frei Caneca, is massive and thriving. The city hosts the largest Pride parade on the planet. The food, the music, the energy — São Paulo is a city that demands participation.

Real talk: Brazil requires patience. The bureaucracy is real, the safety landscape requires awareness, and learning Portuguese is non-negotiable if you want to actually live here rather than just pass through as a foreigner. But the Black gay men I know who've committed to São Paulo are not leaving.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in a good São Paulo neighborhood runs R$3,500–R$6,000/month (roughly $650–$1,100 USD). The city is affordable once you're earning in local currency or have remote income.

Best for: People who want complete cultural immersion, anyone with ties to African diaspora culture, those ready to go deep rather than just dip in.

9. Colombia — Medellín

Medellín is the city that keeps surprising people.

It's surrounded by mountains, the weather is called eternal spring for a reason, and the gay scene — while smaller than the cities above — is warm, social, and growing fast. What makes Medellín work for Black gay men specifically is the energy: you are admired here. Not fetishized in a way that feels uncomfortable, but genuinely seen and appreciated. That matters.

Cartagena is worth mentioning too — the Afro-Colombian culture there hits different for Black travelers. Walking through Getsemaní and feeling that cultural connection while being fully yourself as a gay man is an experience that's hard to describe and harder to forget.

Colombia has a relatively accessible residency visa for remote workers and retirees, and the cost of living is among the lowest on this list without sacrificing quality.

What living here actually looks like: A beautiful one-bedroom in El Poblado (Medellín's expat hub) runs $600–$1,000/month. You will eat well, live well, and have money left over.

Best for: Digital nomads, budget-conscious expats who don't want to sacrifice beauty or social life, anyone drawn to Latin American culture.

10. Netherlands — Amsterdam

Amsterdam in 2026 is a specific kind of energy — WorldPride runs July 25 to August 8, marking 25 years since the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage. If you've been thinking about a move to Europe, this is the year to pay attention.

Amsterdam works as a home for Black gay men because of its genuine multiculturalism. This is not a homogeneous European city. The Bijlmer neighborhood has one of the largest Surinamese and African diaspora communities in Europe. The gay scene — centered around Reguliersdwarsstraat — is well-established and diverse.

The Netherlands also has strong practical infrastructure: excellent English fluency across the population, one of the best public transit systems in Europe, strong expat communities, and a Highly Skilled Migrant visa that's accessible if you have employer sponsorship.

Real talk: Amsterdam is expensive and the housing market is tight. Go in with a plan.

What living here actually looks like: A one-bedroom in a central Amsterdam neighborhood runs €1,500–€2,500/month. The city rewards long-term residents who dig past the tourist surface.

Best for: Career-focused expats, remote workers with European employer connections, anyone who wants the full European expat experience with a genuinely diverse city underneath it.

So Where Should You Actually Go?

Here's the honest breakdown by what you're looking for:

Easiest first move: Puerto Vallarta or Costa Rica — lower barrier to entry, established expat community, affordable
Best Black gay community: London, São Paulo, Cape Town
Best quality of life for the money: Medellín, Lisbon, Cape Town
Most culturally rich for Black gay men: São Paulo, Cape Town, Paris
Best if you're fully remote: Lisbon, Barcelona, Medellín — all have digital nomad visas
The bucket list move: Amsterdam in 2026 — WorldPride, historic year, once-in-a-generation energy

The right answer depends on what home means to you. For me, it was the feeling I got in Puerto Vallarta before I even unpacked — the sense that the city wanted me there.

Find the city that gives you that feeling. Then stay.

Living abroad as a Black gay man? Drop your city in the comments. I want to know where you landed and whether it feels like home.