When people talk about the gayest cities in America, the same names tend to come up: San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Miami, Portland.

And honestly, those cities have earned their reputations. But I started wondering if we're asking the wrong question.

Because if you're a Black gay man trying to figure out where you might actually want to live, "What city has the highest percentage of gay people?" probably isn't the only thing you care about. You might want a big Black community. You might want a gay scene where you don't feel like the only Black person in the room. You might want dating options, nightlife, career opportunities, good food, culture and a cost of living that doesn't make you hate your life.

And maybe most importantly, you want to be able to be Black and gay at the same time without feeling like you have to choose which part of yourself gets to take up space.

That's what I wanted to look at here.

There isn't a perfect dataset that tells us exactly how many Black gay men live in every American city, so this isn't meant to be a scientific ranking. I'm looking at the bigger picture: Black population, LGBTQ population, the presence of Black LGBTQ communities, gay culture and nightlife, affordability, opportunity and, where possible, the data behind all of it.

And once you look at America through that lens, the list gets pretty interesting.

1. Atlanta, Georgia

If I had to pick one city that makes the strongest overall case for Black gay men, Atlanta would probably be it.

And, I don't think that's particularly controversial.

Atlanta has something that a lot of America's traditionally "gay" cities don't have: a massive Black population and a very visible, established Black gay community living in the same place.

The Atlanta metro area has an estimated 194,000 LGBTQ adults, according to Williams Institute data, putting it among the largest LGBTQ populations in the country. And Atlanta consistently shows up on broader lists of America's gayest cities as well. And just think of all the DL people… it’s probably a lot more than that. LOL!?

But the numbers don't really explain why Atlanta feels different.

There is an entire ecosystem here. Black gay bars. Parties. Events. Organizations. Creators. Entrepreneurs. Professional networks. Pride celebrations. Dating. Hookup culture. Friend groups. You don't necessarily have to go searching for the Black gay community in Atlanta. It's just there. And I think that's what makes the city so appealing.

You can be successful, Black, gay and social without feeling like any one of those identities has to take a back seat.

The downside? Atlanta is huge and incredibly spread out. Where you live can completely change your experience of the city, and you'll probably want a car.

Still, if you're asking me which American city has perhaps the strongest combination of Black culture + gay culture + community, Atlanta is hard to beat.

My take: 5/5

2. Washington, D.C.

D.C. is probably the city I'd put closest behind Atlanta. What's interesting about Washington is how much Black population and LGBTQ population overlap geographically. I grew up visiting DC and I absolutely loved how Blackity Black it was.

The Washington metro area has an estimated 209,000 LGBTQ adults, according to the Williams Institute. D.C. also consistently ranks among America's most LGBTQ-friendly cities. Same goes for DC, lots of DL folks here… Come on out and join us.

And then you have the city's enormous Black professional community.

D.C. has long been a destination for Black professionals, particularly people working in government, politics, nonprofits, media and advocacy. That creates a very specific social environment that you don't necessarily find everywhere else.

For a Black gay man, that can be a pretty powerful combination.

You have the professional networks. You have the Black community. You have the gay community. And you have a city that's relatively walkable and packed with things happening.

D.C. is also one of those places where the gay community isn't just about nightlife. There are organizations, professional groups, social events and community spaces that make it possible to actually build a life here.

The obvious problem is money… D.C. is expensive as hell. But if you can afford it, this is one of the strongest cities in the country for someone who wants a serious professional life without giving up access to a thriving LGBTQ community.

My take: 5/5

3. New York City

Then there's New York.

New York doesn't necessarily need an introduction when it comes to either Black culture or gay culture. It's one of the few places where you can realistically find almost any niche you're looking for.

The New York metro area has an estimated 706,000 LGBTQ adults, the largest LGBTQ population among the major U.S. metropolitan areas analyzed by the Williams Institute.

And the Black population is enormous.

That's important because sometimes people confuse having a high percentage of gay residents with having a large dating pool. New York doesn't need to win the percentage game. There are simply a lot of people here.

That means more possibilities.

More Black gay men. More professional circles. More nightlife. More dating. More communities within the community.

You can find ballroom, Black gay parties, LGBTQ organizations, queer creatives, professional groups, nightlife and pretty much every possible version of Black gay life.

The downside is also obvious: New York is expensive, competitive and exhausting. Which is why my Black ass left. LOL!

You can have hundreds of thousands of potential people around you and still feel lonely.

But if your priority is having access to the largest possible social and dating ecosystem, New York is difficult to ignore.

My take: 5/5

4. Baltimore, Maryland

Here's where I think this list gets more interesting.

Baltimore isn't usually the first city that comes to mind when someone asks about the best cities for gay men. But for Black gay men specifically, I think it deserves much more attention.

Approximately 59% of Baltimore's population is Black, according to Census data. And the Baltimore metro area has a significant LGBTQ population, with Black people making up a substantial share of its LGBTQ community.

There's also the D.C. factor.

You're close enough to Washington that you can tap into that much larger metropolitan area without necessarily paying Washington prices.

Baltimore also has something I think gets overlooked: a strong sense of Black identity.

You aren't moving into a city where the Black community is some tiny percentage of the population. Black culture is part of the fabric of the city.

For someone who wants a city with a strong Black community, an established LGBTQ scene and access to D.C., Baltimore starts looking pretty attractive.

It's not perfect. Crime, infrastructure and neighborhood inequality are real issues, and your experience will depend heavily on where you live.

But I think Baltimore is one of the more underrated options on this list.

My take: 4.5/5

5. Houston, Texas

Houston is another city that doesn't get enough credit in this conversation.

The city has more than 2 million residents, with roughly 23% identifying as Black alone, according to the latest Census estimates. The Houston metro also has an estimated 169,000 LGBTQ adults.

And here's what I like about Houston: scale.

It's a massive city, which means you're not dealing with a tiny social pool.

There is a significant Black professional population, a longstanding gay community and plenty of nightlife. You also get the diversity that comes with being one of America's largest metropolitan areas.

And compared with places like New York, San Francisco and D.C., Houston can give you considerably more space for your money.

Of course, there's a tradeoff.

Houston is sprawling. You're probably going to need a car, and Texas politics aren't necessarily everyone's cup of tea.

But if you're looking for a major American city where you can build a career, find Black community and still have an active gay social life without paying coastal-city prices, Houston deserves a look.

My take: 4.5/5

6. Chicago, Illinois

Chicago has one of the biggest LGBTQ populations in the country, with an estimated 298,000 LGBTQ adults in the metro area according to the Williams Institute.

But what makes Chicago interesting for this particular list is the combination of that LGBTQ population with the city's enormous Black cultural footprint.

Chicago has neighborhoods, institutions, music, food and history that are deeply connected to Black America.

And then there's the gay community.

You've got Northalsted, Andersonville and a huge network of LGBTQ businesses, organizations and events. There's also a long history of Black LGBTQ life in the city that goes well beyond the stereotypical "gay neighborhood."

For me, Chicago is one of those cities where the different pieces of your identity don't necessarily have to exist in separate worlds.

The obvious issue? Winter. Ugh… Its cold AF there… NO THANKS! So if you hate cold weather, Chicago may have you reconsidering your life choices by February.

But if weather isn't a dealbreaker, this is one of America's strongest combinations of Black culture, big-city living and LGBTQ community.

A bit of a personal note, here, too… I ran into racism here. And it feels very segregated, so if you’re okay with that, go for it! But not for me.

My take: 3/5

7. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Philadelphia is the city I would put on this list for someone who wants East Coast access without necessarily paying New York prices.

It has a large Black population, a longstanding LGBTQ community and plenty of neighborhoods where you can actually live a relatively urban lifestyle without needing a car.

And because you're on the Northeast corridor, New York, Baltimore and Washington are all relatively easy to reach. That's a pretty useful advantage.

Philadelphia also has something I think gets lost when people only talk about the biggest gay cities: you can actually build a life here.

It doesn't have to be your weekend destination or somewhere you go for Pride. You can find community, work, restaurants, nightlife and everyday life all in one place.

It's not as massive as New York and doesn't have Atlanta's uniquely prominent Black gay culture, but Philadelphia makes up for that with accessibility and a generally lower cost of living. I have POC friends that have either lived here or are living here and rave about it… so definitely worth a shot!

My take: 4/5

8. Detroit, Michigan

If we're talking specifically about Black population, Detroit immediately deserves attention.

Approximately 75% of Detroit's population identifies as Black alone, according to the Census Bureau.

That's an extraordinary number.

And while Detroit's LGBTQ community isn't on the same scale as New York, Atlanta or Chicago, there is an established community here, along with a growing creative and cultural scene…

You're not paying New York or San Francisco prices just to have access to a major city.

And if Black culture and community are among your biggest priorities, Detroit is difficult to dismiss.

The tradeoff is that the city's LGBTQ ecosystem isn't as large or visible as some of the cities above it.

But if you're looking for a city where Black people aren't a small minority and you're willing to sacrifice some of the massive gay-city infrastructure, Detroit becomes a very interesting option.

My take: 4/5

9. Miami, Florida

Miami is probably the most obvious lifestyle pick on this list. But, Florida, ooooh chileeee?! Idk. But here’s the tea…

If your idea of a good life involves beaches, nightlife, warm weather, beautiful people and an international atmosphere, Miami is going to be hard to ignore.

The Miami metro area has an estimated 214,000 LGBTQ adults, and Miami consistently ranks among the country's major LGBTQ population centers.

And there is a substantial Black community, particularly when you look beyond the postcard version of Miami that tourists tend to experience.

For Black gay men who care about travel, nightlife and being somewhere that feels energetic and social, Miami checks a lot of boxes.

But Miami is also expensive. Traffic is ridiculous. And Florida's political climate may be a major consideration depending on what matters to you.

So I wouldn't call it the easiest city on this list.

But if you're asking which one might give you the most vacation-energy-everyday-life, Miami is definitely in the conversation.

My take: 4/5

10. New Orleans, Louisiana

Me and my mommy, the last time I saw her. Not to bring the mood down, but I have a love hate relationship with Nola. I got robbed there but also had this beautiful moment. So, I can’t lie…

New Orleans is the wildcard.

It doesn't have the population of New York or Atlanta. It doesn't have D.C.'s professional ecosystem. And it certainly isn't going to compete with Houston on sheer size.

But some cities aren't really about numbers.

New Orleans has an incredibly deep Black cultural identity, a legendary nightlife scene and a long history of LGBTQ life.

There's something about the city that feels social in a way that statistics don't really capture.

Music, food, festivals, nightlife and community are all woven into everyday life here. And for a Black gay man who values culture and experiences more than having the largest possible dating pool, that can be worth a lot.

It's also one of those cities where you can feel the difference between simply having an LGBTQ population and having an actual queer culture.

The downside is that New Orleans doesn't necessarily offer the same career opportunities or infrastructure as the larger cities on this list.

But if you're looking for personality?

New Orleans has plenty of it.

My take: 4/5

So, Which City Is Actually Best?

Overall, after looking at all of these cities, I’d go with New York City… if money isn’t an option. But otherwise, if Texas was ran by a complete moron, I’d say Houston. But with politics, weather, and the scene… I will have to go with… Atlanta.

Not because it has the highest percentage of gay people in America. It doesn't. And not because it's necessarily the most progressive or the most glamorous.

It's because Atlanta seems to offer the best combination of things that I think matter specifically to Black gay men: a huge Black population, a well-established Black gay community, nightlife, dating, professional opportunities and enough people that you can actually find your niche.

That's why I don't think there can really be one definitive answer. The best city for a Black gay man is the city where the different parts of your life can coexist.

You shouldn't have to choose between being around Black people and being around gay people. You shouldn't have to choose between a good career and a social life. And you shouldn't have to move somewhere just because it's considered one of the "gayest" cities in America.

Because gay doesn't automatically mean Black gay.

And I think it's time our city rankings started reflecting that.

The Data Behind the List

The latest Human Rights Campaign analysis estimates that 25.6 million adults in the United States identify as LGBTQ — about 12% of the adult population. LGBTQ adults now account for more than 10% of adults in 40 states plus Washington, D.C.

The Williams Institute estimates that approximately 1.21 million Black adults in the United States identify as LGBT, with 51.4% living in the South.

That last number is especially important.

More than half of Black LGBT adults live in the South, which challenges the idea that the country's most important LGBTQ communities are automatically in places like New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco.

And that's ultimately why I wanted to approach this differently.

Traditional "gayest city" rankings are useful if you're trying to determine where LGBTQ people are concentrated. But Black gay life is about more than LGBTQ concentration.

It's about whether you can actually find your people.

And that is a much harder thing to measure—but probably a much more useful thing to know.